Agiletated

Sneak Peak! https://eddiots.com/116

About Agiletated

I had suffered in a dozen agile shops before I finally read the Manifesto. That's when I first realized that "Common Practice" != "Intent".

I never met an I.T. bosshole who ever read the Principles. They told me to "write stories", "stand up and report", and "plan" with those who have never "done". All this did was add another layer of I.T. overhead to already crappy practice.

Some of the principles made perfect sense. We had been doing them for years. Others were band-aids on the bleeding without addressing the cause. And reusing words with other meanings didn't help our sorry epics.

I used to be agiletated by all this. Now I just laugh. Join me!

Feedback from Eddiots

Agiltated? The perfect word for how I've felt for years. - Gary Rigg, Software Engineer

★★★★★

Eddie turns our suffering into laughs. Why not? - Zach Overflow, Software Engineer

★★★★★

We love this book! No we don't! - Tab & Comma Delimitter, Software Engineers

★★★☆☆

Pay no attention to this book! I need this job! - Scrum Bell, Scrummaster

☆☆☆☆☆

I was agile before Eddie ever wrote this book. - Dolly Ottic, Eddie's cat

★★★★★

We may be agile but our code still sucks. - Codemaster, Quality Control

★★☆☆☆

About Eddiots

This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

About Eddie Ottic

Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!