Busimess

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Sneak Peak! https://eddiots.com/449

About Busimess

What is business?

To an accountant, it's receiveables, payables, general ledger, and financial reports. To a shareholder, it's stock price and dividends. To a programmer, it's data, logic, and technology. To an analyst, it's mission, strategies, tactics, and requirements. And to a manager, it's quarterly objectives, metrics, and bonuses.

Notice anything missing?

Exactly when did "business" become "busimess"? When we all stopped using the word "customer".

It's not funny. Well maybe a little. Read on.

Feedback from Eddiots

I took a job to reduce risk but what's riskier than a bosshole? - Zach Overflow, Software Engineer

★★★★★

The fastest way to go broke? Let your kid run your business. - Vera Vague, Product Owner

★★★★★

This book brings new meaning to "market condition failure". - Teddy Ottic, Eddie's dad

★★★★★

This book shows how nice it would be if we could just code. - Al Gorithm, Software Architect

★★★★☆

What's the big deal? Eddie can always get another job. - Miss Management, IT Director

★☆☆☆☆

I did nothing wrong! You can ask my parole officer! - Con Victed, CEO

☆☆☆☆☆

About Eddiots

This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.


About Eddie Ottic

Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

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194 Pages
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194 pages
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Busimess

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