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Sneak Peak!

About Scrumbells

Corporate software is always late and wrong. Whose fault is it? Not the managers. They're never wrong. Not the low-techies. They didn't write it. It has to be the programmers.

So what do managers do? They shove the latest theory du jour down the programmers' throats whether it makes sense or not. 4GL, CASE, 5S, Kanban, and just when it couldn't get less functional, the worst of all, Agile with it's wicked stepsister Scrum.

For 50 years we programmers have been telling our bossholes, "Tell us what you want, give us what we need, and stay out of our way." When we get that (rarely), hooray! When we don't (usually), we get Scrumbells. So all we can do is make comics and laugh. Finally, something that works.

Feedback from Eddiots

Yesterday I bought this book. Today I'll read it. No blockers. - Flo Chart, Software Engineer


I wrote this book during 47 standups on mute. I love agile! - Eddie Ottic, Comic Engineer


I've been waiting eons for this book. An epic retrospective! - Zach Overflow, Software Engineer


Not one story in I.T.! So read this comic book instead. - Wanda Want, Business Analyst


Eddie just doesn't understand what we do here. Neither do I. - Scrum Bell, Scrummaster


$7 trillion to go agile ruined by one stupid comic book! - Nero Fiddler, CIO


About Eddiots

This is a work of fiction inspired by real events I witnessed, endured, or instigated.

Every character and company is a composite of real people and places from my work life. I just changed the names to protect the incompetent.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or businesses, active or bankrupt, is either coincidental or unavoidable because these eddiots are everywhere!

Thanks to all you bossholes, players, liars, fakers, slackers, posers, jerks, cheaters, and producers of endless technical debt. I used to hate you but now I love you because I need no imagination. I just share forward the suffering you shared with me.

About Eddie Ottic

Eddie Ottic has written 2 million lines of code for 94 firms in 50 years. There's a good chance something you own was built with his software.

He loves coding but hates going to work. Everywhere he's ever been had sufficient tech. None had sufficient management but plenty of bossholes.

When he says this, he's "not a team player". But when his comics say the same thing, others listen, laugh, and learn the inside truths no one else teaches. That's why he built eddiots.

He's a fair writer, a lousy artist, and a lazy developer. But combining them makes the magic vector art about his long I.T. incarceration. Read it, learn something, and most of all, have fun!

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